Name: Matt Atwill
Profile: Many find it difficult to think of
Matt without the tune ‘solid as a rock’ playing in the back of their mind. Magnificent defender and so important
to the team. A key player in every sense.
Matt without the tune ‘solid as a rock’ playing in the back of their mind. Magnificent defender and so important
to the team. A key player in every sense.
Name: Mark Johnson
Profile: Favours a pre-game meal of last nights curry re-heated, and the maddening effects that must have on his stomach might explain his aggressiveness in the tackle. Good in the air, and at giving away penalties!
Name: Ross Davison
Profile: Talented player who’s comfortable on the ball. He also knows some martial arts and combat techniques so he talks with authority. Ask to see his star jump warm-up sometime – a real eye-opener!
Name: Richard Thompson
Profile: A Salvation Army officer – the equivalent of a vicar – so he’s always nice when picking you up off the floor after one of his powerful challenges. A strong and confident player.
Name: Simon Turner
Profile: A great talker and football
crazy. He does miss the odd game to
go shopping with his wife, but the team understands – we’ve seen his wife,
many of us ask to go shopping too!
crazy. He does miss the odd game to
go shopping with his wife, but the team understands – we’ve seen his wife,
many of us ask to go shopping too!
Name: James Hopkin
Profile: Half aloof artisan dandy, half noisy bustling whirlwind – the thinking woman's Mauricio Taricco. Often found attempting to make up for a clear misplaced confidence in his own footballing ability with enthusiasm and shouting things
he's heard Andy Gray say on sky sports. Exhibits occasional moments of self-proclaimed genius, punctuated with
good, old-fashioned comedy ineptitude.
he's heard Andy Gray say on sky sports. Exhibits occasional moments of self-proclaimed genius, punctuated with
good, old-fashioned comedy ineptitude.
Players A-Z
Name: Steve Hopkin
Profile: Honest player who will run and run will also give at least 80%. Prone to broken toes and dislocated knee caps. Has spent a lot of time in America where he developed his ‘offense’ skills.
Name: Andrew Carne (Vice-Captain)
Profile: The vice-captain is comfortable
in the centre of midfield or at the back. Known to put his all into games and training. Some say he gets supernatural powers from his facial hair.
in the centre of midfield or at the back. Known to put his all into games and training. Some say he gets supernatural powers from his facial hair.
Name: Rodney Kingston
Profile: Likes to run from first minute to last and if he makes a few passes and tackles in the process then even better.
Name: Tim Hopkin
Profile: Valuable player and incredibly reliable – in fact so far he’s never missed a game. Causes a lot of blasphemy from the opposition by nicking the ball off their toes at vital moments.
Name: Steve ‘Stevo’ Oliver
Profile: A central or right midfielder, but also a utility player who is comfortable anywhere on the park, with the park comfortable with Stevo anywhere on it
in return. Stevo is often the subject of constant banter, ridicule and torment
in and out of the changing room.
in return. Stevo is often the subject of constant banter, ridicule and torment
in and out of the changing room.
Name: Martin Harris
Profile: Has played in almost every
position for Stainash, including goalkeeper. A testament to his team player attitude, willing to work anywhere. Always involved with team banter and a pain in the coaches’ necks!
position for Stainash, including goalkeeper. A testament to his team player attitude, willing to work anywhere. Always involved with team banter and a pain in the coaches’ necks!
Name: Alan Martin
Profile: Excellent footballer with years
and years and years and years of experience! Not used to losing so he’s having to do a lot of adapting to fit in
with the team. Doesn’t feel the cold
as he’s remarkably hairy!
and years and years and years of experience! Not used to losing so he’s having to do a lot of adapting to fit in
with the team. Doesn’t feel the cold
as he’s remarkably hairy!
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Name: Jonathan Kerslake (Treasurer)
Profile: Spent his early years playing a lot of rugby. Models his football style on the skills he learnt in this previous sporting life so if you see him coming in for a tackle it’s best to try a hand-off or get out of the way!
Name: Anthony Kerslake (Captain)
Profile: Captain of the team, star player and SA Stainash pin up. Rumour has it that he has Greek origins, which may explain the silky skills and stunning
good looks.
good looks.
Name: Chris Dymott
Profile: Possibly should be tested for
drugs before a match as he goes absolutely crazy when on a football pitch. Runs around like a lunatic to get the ball, and he cranks the insanity up a level when he gets a goal! I’m sure one day he will actually burst open with enthusiasm.
drugs before a match as he goes absolutely crazy when on a football pitch. Runs around like a lunatic to get the ball, and he cranks the insanity up a level when he gets a goal! I’m sure one day he will actually burst open with enthusiasm.
Name: Ben Parker
Profile: If Ben fell over in the woods would he make a noise? Yes. He would scream and roll around like he does regularly on the football pitch. Although no stranger to the floor he is also no stranger to maximum effort, always giving his all – which is a lot as he’s quite a handy player.
Name: Richard Perkins
Profile: After securing a late transfer just before the mid-night deadline on 31 August 2007, Richard wowed his new fans when coming off the bench to score a debut goal in the cup! We have a new hero!
Name: David Perkins
Profile: Is he Alonso, is Kuyt or is he Perkins? Whoever he is he’s a bit handy on the football pitch.
Name: Paul Jackiewicz
Profile: Summer 2007 signing adding real quality to the squad. Paul probably has the best left foot in the league so we’re pleased he chose the correct team to
sign for.
sign for.
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Name: Jonathan Carmichael
Profile: JC signed for SA Stainash when he realised his talent was being wasted on ‘The Hendon Boys’ Sunday kick-about! He saw the light and has begun a serious career with ‘The Staines Boys’ where he hopes to impress in the dizzy heights of the East Berkshire League Division Four. Roll on the good times!
DOUBLE WINNERS OF THE EAST BERKSHIRE FOOTBALL LEAGUE FAIR-PLAY AWARDS 2006-07 and 2007-08
Name: Keith Atwill
Profile: The senior player on the team yet puts most of the others to shame when it comes to fitness. Supremely dedicated and reliable, don’t bet against him to still be playing for Stainash in our centenary year!
Name: Nigel ‘The Beast’ Cooper
Profile: Nigel is a hard tackler who on
a good day will get the better of most forwards and wingers. It is advisable
for opposition players to avoid 50/50 challenges with him at all costs for their own safety. He enjoys a laugh and is quick to open his mouth at any opportunity!
Has coined the catchphrase ‘Over Me!’
a good day will get the better of most forwards and wingers. It is advisable
for opposition players to avoid 50/50 challenges with him at all costs for their own safety. He enjoys a laugh and is quick to open his mouth at any opportunity!
Has coined the catchphrase ‘Over Me!’
Name: Ciaran Croker
Profile: To follow.
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Name: Mark Kingston
Profile: To follow.
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Name: Glenn Little
Profile: To follow.
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